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  • Writer's pictureMichael Spatola

Fix Her Crown. Don't Knock It Off Her Head

A situation came up a few weeks ago. A thread I read on someone’s social media. I wish I hadn’t read it. But, I did.

A woman, while spouting feminism and female empowerment, was publicly shaming other women for posting images of themselves. Not dirty photos, mind you, not slutty photos, but beautiful boudoir images. The ladies this venom was directed at are good hard-working women that I also know, that are beautiful souls. In fact, I took some of the photos in question. It wasn’t the first time this happened from what I’m to understand. They were publicly berated for the things they do that help make them feel more confident, beautiful, strong, and frankly, better about themselves. Literally, shaming women while shouting about female empowerment. It did NOT sit well with me for a good many reasons...

Self worth, confidence, empowerment. Things that make any woman feel good about herself is NOT for anyone else to determine but themself. Period.

I thought “what a woman does with her own body” meant something. Isn’t that what so many women have fought for?

It’s ok for a woman to wear makeup, right? That’s something that makes one feel beautiful- and it’s not necessarily for a dude, right? Is makeup anti-feminist?

Maybe you wear an outfit that makes you feel, sexy, strong or attractive? That’s for you, right? Perhaps a selfie on a good day? Is that anti-feminist?

Hmmm, maybe botox? Lip fillers? Face lifts? Breast augmentation? I assume these procedures make one feel stronger, more attractive and better about herself. Those are ok, yes? Where is the line drawn for what should or shouldn't be socially acceptable, though? Who gets to decide?

Body shaming is a horrible thing. Shaming of any kind, sucks! ANYTHING a woman does that helps her feel great about herself, is a GOOD thing! Am I right?

It honestly reminded me of that woman in the news that took a photo of a larger woman in the gym locker room, without her knowledge, and posted it on social media, body shaming her.

Empowerment comes from what makes a person feel proud, beautiful, strong. And, it is not for ANYONE, any other woman, to say what should, or shouldn’t, make another woman feel good about herself. Female Empowerment should be about lifting other women up, not tearing them down.

Here’s a dude’s opinion of what empowerment is NOT- It’s NOT tearing other people down publicly for the things they do that helps them to feel strong, beautiful, or simply to feel good about themselves. Tearing another woman down while preaching about feminism and empowerment is kind of a “dick” move.

If tearing other women down in any form is what someone thinks female empowerment is about, then it’s not the other women that are the problem.

The beautiful sessions I create uplift women. I've seen many tears of joy as some of my clients see themselves as beautiful - some for the first time ever.

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